In our modern culture, we often miss the subtle signs of spiritual rebellion that take root long before they blossom into open sin. One such sign is a quiet, often unspoken contempt—a disdain for one’s family, community, or place of origin. It is a bitterness that festers in the heart, especially during adolescence, when identity is vulnerable, and the soul is searching for significance. In my life and observations, I have seen this contempt manifest in people who later identified as homosexual or transgender. What began as sneering mockery toward small-town values eventually evolved into full-blown rejection of biblical sexual ethics. This essay seeks to reflect on those patterns and understand them through the lens of Scripture and biblical counseling.
Remembering the Faces of Contempt
Years ago, I had a friend who was effeminate— out of step with the masculine norms of our rural Indiana community. His parents seemed normal at a glance, but I recall his mother being unusually stern, sullen, and a little masculine in demeanor. I did not have much exposure to her, though, so my memory may be inaccurate.
As a teenager, he often spoke with scorn about the “backwardness” of our town and its people. This contempt wasn’t fueled by mistreatment or trauma that I could see—it seemed to emerge from somewhere deep inside.
Decades later, he resurfaced in my life. We had one phone conversation after nearly 45 years. He was now “married” to a man, living in an urban environment viewed as a cultural center, successful by worldly standards, and still bitterly derisive toward the Midwest. To him, he had escaped something primitive. And yet, he didn’t sound free. He sounded hardened.
A similar story recently emerged from a young man who had detransitioned after identifying as transgender. In describing his past, he recounted a season of intense contempt for his hometown. He could not point to any logical reason for this hatred. He simply grew to loathe the people around him—viewing them as simple, unenlightened, and unworthy. That loathing was a seedbed for radical self-reinvention, including attempts to alter his biological identity.
The Spiritual Anatomy of Contempt
What causes a person—particularly a young person—to scorn their home and heritage? From the Christian lens, we know that contempt is not neutral. It is often a byproduct of pride, insecurity, or rebellion.
Scripture offers a striking diagnosis:
“For although they knew God, they did not honor him as God or give thanks to him… Claiming to be wise, they became fools… Therefore God gave them up in the lusts of their hearts to impurity…”
—Romans 1:21–24 (ESV)
The Apostle Paul describes how rejecting truth leads to a darkened heart and eventually to dishonorable passions. This moral unraveling doesn’t happen all at once. It begins when we despise what God has ordained: parents, gender, community, and the moral structure of creation.
When a young man feels alienated—either because of internal confusion or external expectations—he may begin to see traditional masculinity or femininity as oppressive. If that alienation is not answered with truth and love, it metastasizes into contempt. And that contempt, over time, can justify radical rebellion—against one’s gender, one’s sexuality, and ultimately, against God.
Counseling Insights: Shame, Identity, and Projection
Christian Counselors add another layer of understanding. According to biblical counseling wisdom (e.g., Ed Welch, Mark Shaw, David Powlison), shame and identity confusion are key drivers in sexual sin and self-loathing. Adolescents struggling with identity often don’t understand why they feel different, only that they do. If they lack strong, loving guidance, they project their shame outward—mocking others to deflect their own pain.
In this sense, contempt becomes a spiritual fig leaf. Rather than confront brokenness or seek help, the adolescent redefines reality: “It’s not that I’m confused—it’s that everyone else is backwards.”
This defense mechanism often appears in individuals with family role confusion. For example, when a mother is domineering or emotionally withdrawn, and a father is passive or absent, boys may struggle to develop healthy masculinity. Girls in similar dysfunction may become repelled by femininity or view it as weak.
Rather than healing through grace and discipleship, some individuals flee—to the city, to the arms of a false identity, or to movements that validate their feelings. They leave behind not only their town, but the biblical truths that could restore their soul.
The Role of Culture and Ideology
This phenomenon does not happen in a vacuum. Our culture trains young people to deconstruct their roots. The dominant media, progressive academia, and LGBTQ advocacy all suggest that liberation comes from rejecting tradition—especially religious and rural values.
Cities are painted as bastions of tolerance; small towns as dens of ignorance. Masculinity and femininity are declared fluid. And sexual sin is reframed as self-discovery.
Those who question the new morality are told they’re on the wrong side of history.
In this context, contempt is cultivated—not merely permitted. It becomes a badge of enlightenment.
A Biblical Response: The Prodigal Son and the Return Home
Scripture offers an alternative vision—one that is both realistic and redemptive. In Luke 15, Jesus tells the story of a young man who leaves his father’s house in search of freedom. He squanders everything and ends up in despair. Only when he hits bottom does he remember his father’s goodness.
His return is met not with judgment, but grace.
“But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and felt compassion, and ran and embraced him and kissed him.”
—Luke 15:20 (ESV)
This parable reminds us that no matter how deep the contempt or how far the rebellion, the Father’s arms are open. The path home begins with humility—naming our sin, our pride, and our rejection of truth. It ends in reconciliation.
Conclusion: Reframing the Past through Grace
As I reflect on these stories—both personal and cultural—I am reminded of how vital it is to speak truth to the next generation. We must teach them that contempt is not courage. That shame can be healed. That masculinity and femininity are good gifts, not prisons. And that no city, no job, no ideology can fill the void created by rejecting God’s design.
Some will not listen. But others, like the prodigal, will one day hunger for home.
And when they do, may they find that someone has been praying, waiting, and speaking the truth in love all along.
S.D.G.,
Robert Sparkman
christiannewsjunkie@gmail.com
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Detransitioner Chloe Cole has a discussion with another detransitioner, Luke Healy. This conversation sparked the observances I have made in this blog post. Both individuals have a great deal of insight into the underlying causes, in my opinion.
Concerning the Related Content section, I encourage everyone to evaluate the content carefully.
Some sources of information may reflect a libertarian and/or atheistic perspective. I may not agree with all of their opinions, but they offer some worthwhile comments on the topic under discussion.
Additionally, language used in the videos may be coarse. Coarse language does not reflect my personal standards.
Also, I do not acknowledge that anyone transitions from male to female, and vice versa. While I might use the language of the left for purposes of communication, like the words transgender or cisgender, I do not believe their concepts. Trans men are women deluded into thinking they are men, and trans women are men deluded into thinking they are women. Trans men are not men, and trans women are not women.
Finally, those on the left often criticize my sources of information, which are primarily conservative and/or Christian. Truth is truth, regardless of how we feel about it. Leftists are largely led by their emotion rather than facts. It is no small wonder that they would criticize the sources that I provide. And, ultimately, my wordview is governed by Scripture. Many of my critics are not biblical Christians.
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